I was supposed to be a girl. A sweet little being with long blonde curls and big blue eyes. Julia. Smart, sensitive, and well-behaved. Innocent. And let's say, I was. Though not as sweet or innocent.

I was born on a winter afternoon, already after dark. Before anyone had a chance to take a good look at me, I saw my own reflection in some window or glass and was terrified. At first, I wanted to cry out for help, to call my mom loud and long so she would come running right away, but it quickly dawned on me that no one would save me from myself, and that seeing me, they would surely kill me. So I hid. I hid in such a way that I could see and hear everything, but so that no one could hear or see me. And if someone did, I could pretend to be dead, or that I was never here.